Breakdowns

Hello from my heart to yours....
 
"Sometimes a breakdown can be the beginning of a kind of breakthrough, a way of living in advance through an ordeal that prepares you for a future of radical transformation."     Cherrie Moraga, Playright
 
 
Well... that's interesting... a breakdown... a societal taboo ... so, we tend to fight it... usually it happens because we hold back our emotions for such a long period of time that when they are finally bursting at the seams.. when they are flooding our bodies and consuming us, we stop functioning.... It usually takes us by surprise.. while we're driving to or from work or watching a movie or even looking at a beautiful full moon... our feelings just release themselves and we have little control over them... it doesn't matter what the catalyst was that drove us to a much needed catharsis... it's done and we usually feel better...
 
Most of what society dictates is that we shouldn't have these breakdowns... they're a sign of weakness.. boys especially are told not to cry at a very young age because it isn't manly... and when girls grow up surrounded by brothers, they aren't allowed to cry either.. so they become tough and cry in hiding so they don't get teased... it's such a taboo sometimes, that people do not even know how to react to someone who comes to them in the middle of a breakdown... it scares them...
 
More and more, I am beginning to realize that we may actually need little breakdowns every so often... it's important that we allow it to happen, rather than fight it or try to shut down... wherever we are when it happens, we need to let our feelings out... naturally, the ideal place would be in the arms of someone who loves us, but that's not always feasible and maybe, regardless of the love, the person doesn't know how to handle it either... I have found that the shower is the best place to cry... tears get lost in the water and when I'm done (usually when the hot water runs out), I come out refreshed... cleansed in so many ways...
 
Now..I am not saying that having breakdowns is wonderful... in the perfect world, we would make plans to process our emotions regularly so that we never have a breakdown.. talking about your feelings is the best way to avoid it... perhaps you can make a date to eat lunch weekly with your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend.. or a trusted friend .. maybe all you need is to keep a daily journal of what your feeling... or you can join a club or church ministry... I don't know.. not everything works for everybody.. it's a matter of making room in your life to tend to your emotions somehow... regularly..
 
Writing the blessings daily is what usually gets me through to the next moment... but since I haven't been writing, not the good nor the bad nor the indifferent feelings and emotions I have been having this summer, it might be an indication that I am on the verge of a breakdown...  yes, I'm not always the happy-go-lucky person people think I am... thankfully, summer is almost over and I am going away for 2 weeks to do absolutely nothing...  I need to re-energize.. re-group.. and do a lot of meditating and praying... I think my soul is craving it...  and I will return for the beginning of the school year... when this part of the world begins anew ... and you all know how I love "begin anew" blessings... for now though..let this be my prayer affirmation:
 
Infinite Spirit of God, I am blessed and I am a blessing. I release all my bottled up emotions to the heavens and put them in Your hands.  I have faith in You.  I have hope in You.  I love You.  There is no emotion that can consume me if I believe in You.  Let this be my truth always. Amen.
 
May you all find a way to release your emotions so that you can maintain a healthy balance in your minds and hearts.. and if you ever feel on the verge of a breakdown.. have it and be done with it.. because you are loved beyond measure and a cherished blessing to me...
 
May your afternoon be filled with all things good,
With Love,
Elena
 
Disclaimer:  This email address accepts "Venting" emails at anytime, but be advised that "Venting" emails will be deleted to ensure that emotions are released to God's hands immediately.

Show Up

Hello from my heart to yours....

"I've found that luck is quite predictable. If you want more luck, take more chances. Be more active. Show up more often."  Brian Tracy

I've never been a believer in "luck" really... The dictionary defines luck as 'believing that whatever happens, either good or bad, to a person in the course of events is due to chance, fate or fortune'... luck has nothing to do with anything operating for or against you, neither is it a matter of chance.. we make out own "luck" with being open to new experiences.. by "showing up" I think..... I've written about luck in the past because there is no religion.. not Catholicism, Judaism nor Buddhism.. that believe in luck.. if we believe in God, believing in luck only undermines God's role in our lives.... 

Anyway, so the quote isn't to focus on luck, it's to focus on "showing up" ... on Saturday night, I went out to meet a friend who is visiting from Texas.... we were simply going to dinner... when we arrived at the restaurant, it was transformed into the "Moulin Rouge".. I thought it was a private party and was worried that we had to go elsewhere, but fortunately, she had made reservations... she was expecting 10 people so we waited.. after 45 minutes, no one else showed and so we ordered... and during our fabulous meal, we enjoyed a show with Can-Can girls and girls with candelabra's on their heads, dancing on the bar... truly beautiful.... 

At dinner, she told my boyfriend and I that a friend had tickets for all of us to go to "The Donkey Show" ... and so.. that's what we did.. the four of us.... it was a spectacular event... while we were dancing, her friend came and put VIP bracelets on us... the husband turns to me and says, "that's what you get for "showing up" ... lol... of course, well into the night.. with each fabulous 70's song and dance that passed, I thought, "too bad our other friends didn't show up" ... and his words stuck with me all of yesterday and today... and I thought about all the many things in life we miss out on.. the many people we never get to meet.. the many opportunities we don't get because we fail to show up...

Don't misunderstand me... I'm not saying that we have to become like Elasti-Girl and show up to everything... we have to know what is important in our lives.. and who is important in our lives... I have a lot of out-of-town friends who come to visit and I do want to see them all, but sometimes it's impossible... I actually did miss a visit last week or so ago, which made me sad, but she'll be back and we will go on a "secret" breakfast.. lol... so, I'm looking forward to that.... anyway... "showing up" is similar to "being present" I guess... and maybe that's why I haven't been able to stop thinking about it...

Woody Allen said, "Eighty percent of success is showing up." .. well, there is more to it really.. and many people actually don't like his quote.. regardless, I read an article once about "showing up" ... it said that there are 4 basic ways to "show up"...  

(1) we "show up" to people.. we offer all of ourselves to people.. we give them our undivided attention.. it's the (when you walk into a room situation) where you say, "There you are!" .(instead of "Here I am")..it's offering help and maybe even stretching out of your comfort zone... it's "being present', if you will...
(2) we "show up" through people" ... this is the "I tell a friend, you tell a friend, and so on and so on..' ... for example, a Contractor I saw today said he had a mutual friend who had a violation and he asked if I could help him out.. well, I have him on the blessing list and so, of course I contacted him...it's networking one another... advertising for each other.. recommending people we know and trust... things like that...
(3) we "show up" for people when we go to something they are involved in to help give moral support maybe.. this is my favorite way of showing up... I have a great friend who is in a cover band... when he plays, he has (what he calls) his posse... yes, that's us... the group of supporters who "show up" for him... fun, fun, fun... this is, also, when you go to a church or temple event that another group is hosting to show that you recognize their efforts... for example, when the women's Emmaus ministry is having a retreat at our church, the Emmaus men come and set up the beds and rearrange furniture for them.. and vice-a-versa.. the women will decorate the rooms for the men's retreat...
(4) we "show up" for ourselves... as Shakespeare said, "This above all: To thine own self be true." ... This is the reason I like to work for myself I think.. I don't always take care of myself, but I do know what I need in my life to be able to function daily when I'm working... I know that I have to have certain days for certain building departments... I know that I have to have at least one "inspection" day a week so that I can be outside in the sun (or the rain)... I know I have to set aside a day of the week for a "brother" or a "friend" lunch.. (I know Wendy... I'm trying for Friday) .. and I know I need a "work-from-home" day... am I ever going to be a millionaire this way? probably not financially, but it's spiritually great for me... 

As usual, when I don't write as often, I go on and on and on...  sooooooo....  let me wrap this up by saying... "Show up" ... in one way or another try to "be present" in mind, body and soul for all of the blessed people in the world.... after all, God always "shows up" for us... the least we can do is "show up" for one another ... I think that in doing so, we are "showing up" for God right back.... 


....and with all of that said, I feel the need to apologize for not "showing up" for you all... for being absent in writing the blessings... for not being true to myself... writing these blessings has always helped me reflect on my own life and how I can better myself... I will try to do better... I will try to "show up" more often... if only just to remind you that you are all loved beyond measure and are cherished blessings to the world and me...


May you be blessed.  May others be blessed by you. This is my heartfelt wish to you.I love you,Elena

Being "Present"

Hello from my heart to yours...

“We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, and then... for joy.” 

                                                              ~ Pema Chodron from When Things Fall Apart

On Monday morning, my house was burglarized... I was only gone 2 hours... I can't explain the feeling of walking into such needless destruction and disarray... as if a tornado ripped through each bedroom individually... what's gone is gone... after all, they were just things... mostly of sentimental value as I sold almost all my jewelry 3 years ago to pay for a fabulous trip to Italy... so, I'm not falling apart because of that... my grandmother's things can't be replaced.. my father's 100 year coin collection will probably be used in vending machines... oh well... I just feel beaten up and violated... some strangers touched my clothes and my bed sheets and even my make-up... but thank God, nothing happened to me or my child... only mentally, do we feel exhausted...

Yesterday, I attended a funeral service... those of you that have been with me a long time know how I like to go to memorial services and masses (not burials) .. I go for the living... to offer "presence" during their time of sorrow.. this is what I was taught... and so, as I partook of the mass for the mother of one of my Emmaus Sisters, I looked around and realized that there are a group of Emmaus Sisters that are always "present"... always the same familiar smiles coming together in companionship and love... 

Back in September, I wrote a blessing about being "present" for others.... again, about attending a service where the minister open with, "Thank you for being "present" ... your presence is a prayer offering for the family and friends showing them that they are not alone." I have never forgotten that.... so anyway... just as my thoughts drift from one thing to another in the blessings I write, so they do all day and the "presence" of my Sisters, triggered the thought of the robbery again....

When I got home, I called my siblings and my best friends... they kept me company on the phone while the police went through the rooms... in between phone calls, my yard guy and my neighbor sat with me in the patio... they were "present" for me... I had to go to a meeting so I left, worked, picked up my kid and came back.. all the while dreading the thought of having to clean up... when I arrived at my house, my sister-in-law was there waiting.. 30 minutes later, my aunt and uncle arrived, then, my brother, then another aunt, then my sister.. and all the while, my phone didn't stop.. calls, texts, emails.. all wanting to offer their "presence" ... or their home for us to spend the night... by 7:00 the rooms were back to a "decent" state... and there was no reason for me to "fall apart" .. I am blessed. I am loved... (Of course, that night, we slept in a locked room ...)

Anyway, life goes on and though it may "fall apart" one day, the next day it comes together again... and with another's "presence",  we heal.. and there is joy again...  so, I thank God that I am here... it could have been much worse... and I thank my Emmaus Sisters for reminding me (at the funeral service) about the importance of being "present"... it made me realize how many people are "present" for me and how blessed I am because of it.... 

It doesn't take much to be "present" for one another... all you have to do is remember that you are loved beyond measure and a cherished blessing to the world... We transform our lives and the lives of those around us simply by being "present." ...  It’s compassion in action..... thank you all for being "present" with me on this spiritual journey of blessing one another....

May your day be blessed with all things good,

I love you,

Elena

Success Stories

Hello from my heart to yours... 

"I write about people who sometime in their life have a vision or dream of something that should be accomplished and they go to work. 

"They are beaten over the head, knocked down, vilified, and for years they get nowhere. But every time they're knocked down they stand up. You cannot destroy these people. And at the end of their lives they've accomplished some modest part of what they set out to do."

— Clifford Irving

WE are these people... I write about all of US all the time.. but yesterday, a friend I have had for quite some time now, emailed me saying, "My inner voice is named Jeffrey. But he prefers to be called Jeff, and gets pretty upset if I don’t. And he’s very jealous of the other voices in my head."  lol... I was so cracking up... we proceeded to exchange a few "catch-up" emails about life and the kids... and then this quote popped up on Facebook and I immediately thought of him again... 

He hasn't had an "easy" life... he has definitely been beaten over the head, knocked down and vilified.. but he always stands back up... and though at times throughout the years, he has asked me to remove him from the blessings list because the message is of no use to him, he will email me later and say, "don't listen to me..I was depressed..put me back on" ... lol... he has raised his 3 children alone for the past 10 years... he has schlepped them from state to state to ensure that they see their mother whenever possible... he has a successful business in this horrible economy.. and I am proud to call this "character: friend... he has visions and dreams and sets out to accomplish them...  

Last year, a mile wide tornado went right through his city... from his house, you can see the hospital that was ripped apart... it was a scary time for him and his family... there is still debris everywhere, but the city is slowly recovering ... when I drove through Alabama last year, I saw remnants of this tornadoes destruction and let me tell you, even my boys had tears in their eyes... those of us who experienced Hurricane Andrew and Hurricane Katrina know that it takes a long while to recover from these types of natural disasters.. financially, physically and emotionally... but we still stand back up and continue our life journey...  

I believe that it is true of all of us here... I receive many emails asking for prayers and guidance and moral support... not because I am an expert in any of this, but I think it's because we are all connected to one another and don't want to stay down in our moments of despair... we are people of faith, hope and love in our hearts.. and even at our lowest moments, we know all we have to do is reach for another's outstretched hand... none of us want to fail... and none of us want others to fail either... we all desire to be "success stories"....and know people who are "success stories"... and if I knew each of your stories, I could write blessings about each of you for 1000+ days ... isn't that crazy wonderful?

Anyway, may we always be able to "stand up" .. may we be willing to pick ourselves up and start all over again.... if it helps, look to another's success story to get ideas and help... pray and meditate for yourselves and others... pray specifically for faith, hope and love... for as long as we have all these, we can never be destroyed... we are are loved beyond measure and cherished blessings to the world... remember to thank God for this love....

May your day be filled with all things good,

I love you,

Elena

Inner Voice

Hello from my heart to yours.....

"The human voice can never reach the distance that is covered by the still small voice of conscience.....  Everyone who wills can hear the inner voice. It is within everyone." 

                                                                                                        Mohandas Gandi

If you let it.. life will overtake you.... things will happen in your life and you will have no control.. you will simply "go with the flow"  and by doing so, you are allowing others to dictate your life... People love to tell others what to do.. parents, grandparents, spouses and friends give advice and you listen because they mean well.. and granted, sometimes they do have good advice, however, you have to strive to listen to yourself... that inner voice that speaks to YOU.... that inner voice that I believe is GOD... 

I know that not everyone on this blessing list calls him God.. and when I googled the different names for "God", I found too many to mention here... also, in my search I read something very interesting, and possibly what I may have been trying to say all along in the blessings... we live in a society that has many cultures and many religions and though we may not agree with everyone's beliefs, we should be tolerant and treat everyone with respect and love because all religions are equally valid since our path's all lead to God...  interesting right? Of course, as a Catholic, I am supposed to say that unless you accept Jesus Christ as your Savior, then you will not be with saved in the end... hmmmm? but as a Catholic, I was, also, taught that God loves the whole world and so then, why wouldn't He save people of all religions and allow us to live His Kingdom as brothers and sisters?  I don't know... more and more, I am of the simple belief that: "LOVE is my religion".... 

Pay no mind to my tangent writing.......Soooooo way off what I was going to write about... and as my best friend would say to me right now... "Look, something shiny!"  lol

Anyway, I'm back from the reef... and to my belief that we all have a spiritual purpose and something to contribute to this life.. to be able to be the blessed people that we are destined to be, we need to be able to tap into that direct connection that we have with the most powerful force in the universe...God.  That "intuition" (as it is called) is our spiritual guide, but we have to listen... YOU have to listen to yourself... there is nothing outside of YOU, not family or friends, that can answer your questions better than that "little voice."

So ask the question.. pray and meditate about it... and then LISTEN... listen with an open mind and an open heart... be willing to wait patiently for the answer.... be willing to accept NO, too.... it's definitely hard, but as I continuously say... with faith, hope and love in your heart, all things are possible....

My affirmation for us today:

We are loved beyond measure and are blessed to hear the "little voice" of God...  Our minds and our hearts are open to receive all the answers that are rightfully ours in our Divine Right... We believe the answers that we receive... and therefore, we will become the blessed people we are destined to be..... Amen.

May your evening be blessed with all things fabulous,

With love,

Elena

50th Day

hello from my heart to yours.... 

I read a quote that cracked me, but didn't write it down completely, thinking I could just google it and it would pop up... considering that I haven't written in awhile, I found it so reflective of that.... it went something like.....

"It's hard to write when the world is moving.."

 ... one of the truest sentences I have ever read... I don't know what I've been up to lately, but I have been up to so much... and I have a lot to write about because everyday something fabulous happens in my life... and I say, "I'll write today." ..but the world moves again and I don't...

So, as I am sitting in the barber shop right now watching my daddy and son being swiveled around in the chairs... I am writing... I I have been wanting to write about this upcoming weekend because Jews and Christians alike are celebrating the "50th Day" ....

We will be celebrating Shauvot and Pentecost ... the 50th day since Passover and the 50th day since Easter...  and we are celebrating it on the same day... this doesn't happen often as both our religious calendars fluctuate.. this last "Spring Feast" is a moveable feast... and perhaps because I try to live my life as if it were a moveable feast (the way Hemingway describes it to mean "the memory of a splendid place or happening that continues to go with you for the rest of your life..") I find the fact that we are all celebrating this weekend so fabulous... since you all know I LOVE to connect all of us spiritually....

  

Anyway, when God gave the Jewish people the Torah, they became servants of God.... the birth of a nation committed to God.. .. I read that Shavuot is the wedding anniversary of the Jewish people and the Torah is the marriage certificate between the Jews and God... 

 After Jesus went up to heaven, the Holy Spirit was given at Pentecost.... when the disciples received the gift, they became witnesses for Christ.... the birth of the church... a birth certificate for those who choose to be born in the Spirit... 

 Jews celebrated a joyous harvest on Shavuot...

Christians celebrated a harvest of newborn souls on Pentecost...

And so... here we are after 50 Holy days...united as brothers and sisters of one God... following the same Commandments... (or at least trying to)... praying and meditating by ourselves and with one another... because we are all loved beyond measure and are cherished blessings to the world... 

and so, I say to all my Jewish friends... Happy Anniversary... 

and, I say to all my Christian friends... Happy Birthday...

May your weekend be blessed with an abundance of love... I miss you all and love you very much... 

Elena

Lay Down Your Burden

Hello from my heart to yours...

"Lay down your burden... I will carry you
I will carry you my child, my child..."
                                                                                                                     Amy Grant, "Carry You"

We all know the feeling of walking through life as if we are carrying the huge burden of our worries and stresses on our backs and shoulders, struggling to keep moving forward. There is no real way to move freely and fluidly in such a situation, and we are all longing to lay our burdens down... by imagining that it would be possible to do such a thing can be enough to elicit a sigh of relief and a feeling of lightness. 

Tonight the Catholics begin the Easter Triduum... it begins with the Chrism Mass, whereby the bishop blesses the Holy Oils.. the chrism, oil of the sick and oil of catechumens.. and we celebrate the Last Supper of Jesus... where he gave us the "reason" why we attend mass on Sundays when He said, "Do this in remembrance of Me"... the Triduum continues through to Resurrection Sunday.. we recall the passion, death, burial and resurrection of Jesus... 

Tomorrow night, my Jewish friends celebrate Passover, whereby they recall the story of the Exodus... when God helped the children of Israel escape slavery in Egypt by inflicting 10 plagues.. the 10th and worst plague was the slaughter of the first-born.. the Israelites were instructed to mark the doorposts of their homes with the blood of a spring lamb, and upon seeing this, the spirit of the Lord passed over these homes... 

I thought that these Holy days would be a perfect time to lay our burdens down at the feet of God.. releasing ourselves from that which we cannot handle on our own... after all, that is what Jesus did when He accepted his role as the Son of God... knowing that He would be betrayed and die on a cross... and after all, that is what the Israelites did when they did as instructed by God so that they could be free... and had they not laid their burdens down, then the story would have been written differently and the Church may not have been born...  

I did not study theology or religions... I only know what I have acquired by growing up with both, Catholic and Jewish friends.. by celebrating both OUR holidays and feasts.. and I am fascinated by the connection we have as children of one God... I am not the smartest girl or the most capable or the hardest working, but I believe that I cannot single-handedly cope with all the worries that I take on in my life... and thankfully, I do know that humans are not designed to do so... our well-being depends upon our ability to hand over that which we can no longer carry by ourselves... letting it go and letting God....

Let us begin this weekend right now... visualize yourself carrying your burdens to the feet of God.... sit with your eyes closed and envision an all powerful, supremely comforting being in what ever form that takes for you, standing at the end of a road.... see yourself carrying a large sack, box, or other container and imagine that all your worries are inside it.... watch as you make your way to the God of your imagination, and lay your baggage down at His feet.... allow yourself to feel the lightness and relief of this action, express your gratitude, and surrender. You will be amazed by how this simple meditation can liberate you from a burden you were never meant to carry... 

We are here... all God's children .... all loved beyond measure and cherished blessings to the world... love one another and hold each other's hands through life... have faith and hope in God, yourselves and one another... lay down your burdens and move forward... spring is the time of renewal.. renew yourselves ... pray and meditate and be in God's grace always... 

May your Passover and Easter weekend be blessed with all things light,

I love you and love being your sister in God's eyes...

Elena