Breakdowns

Hello from my heart to yours....
 
"Sometimes a breakdown can be the beginning of a kind of breakthrough, a way of living in advance through an ordeal that prepares you for a future of radical transformation."     Cherrie Moraga, Playright
 
 
Well... that's interesting... a breakdown... a societal taboo ... so, we tend to fight it... usually it happens because we hold back our emotions for such a long period of time that when they are finally bursting at the seams.. when they are flooding our bodies and consuming us, we stop functioning.... It usually takes us by surprise.. while we're driving to or from work or watching a movie or even looking at a beautiful full moon... our feelings just release themselves and we have little control over them... it doesn't matter what the catalyst was that drove us to a much needed catharsis... it's done and we usually feel better...
 
Most of what society dictates is that we shouldn't have these breakdowns... they're a sign of weakness.. boys especially are told not to cry at a very young age because it isn't manly... and when girls grow up surrounded by brothers, they aren't allowed to cry either.. so they become tough and cry in hiding so they don't get teased... it's such a taboo sometimes, that people do not even know how to react to someone who comes to them in the middle of a breakdown... it scares them...
 
More and more, I am beginning to realize that we may actually need little breakdowns every so often... it's important that we allow it to happen, rather than fight it or try to shut down... wherever we are when it happens, we need to let our feelings out... naturally, the ideal place would be in the arms of someone who loves us, but that's not always feasible and maybe, regardless of the love, the person doesn't know how to handle it either... I have found that the shower is the best place to cry... tears get lost in the water and when I'm done (usually when the hot water runs out), I come out refreshed... cleansed in so many ways...
 
Now..I am not saying that having breakdowns is wonderful... in the perfect world, we would make plans to process our emotions regularly so that we never have a breakdown.. talking about your feelings is the best way to avoid it... perhaps you can make a date to eat lunch weekly with your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend.. or a trusted friend .. maybe all you need is to keep a daily journal of what your feeling... or you can join a club or church ministry... I don't know.. not everything works for everybody.. it's a matter of making room in your life to tend to your emotions somehow... regularly..
 
Writing the blessings daily is what usually gets me through to the next moment... but since I haven't been writing, not the good nor the bad nor the indifferent feelings and emotions I have been having this summer, it might be an indication that I am on the verge of a breakdown...  yes, I'm not always the happy-go-lucky person people think I am... thankfully, summer is almost over and I am going away for 2 weeks to do absolutely nothing...  I need to re-energize.. re-group.. and do a lot of meditating and praying... I think my soul is craving it...  and I will return for the beginning of the school year... when this part of the world begins anew ... and you all know how I love "begin anew" blessings... for now though..let this be my prayer affirmation:
 
Infinite Spirit of God, I am blessed and I am a blessing. I release all my bottled up emotions to the heavens and put them in Your hands.  I have faith in You.  I have hope in You.  I love You.  There is no emotion that can consume me if I believe in You.  Let this be my truth always. Amen.
 
May you all find a way to release your emotions so that you can maintain a healthy balance in your minds and hearts.. and if you ever feel on the verge of a breakdown.. have it and be done with it.. because you are loved beyond measure and a cherished blessing to me...
 
May your afternoon be filled with all things good,
With Love,
Elena
 
Disclaimer:  This email address accepts "Venting" emails at anytime, but be advised that "Venting" emails will be deleted to ensure that emotions are released to God's hands immediately.