Forget Regret

Hello from my heart to yours....

Jonathan Larson, who wrote the play RENT.. said,  “Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.” ....

Well, hmmmmm... this is something I think about often... not so much because I regret anything I've done in my life, but because I hear people saying that often.. and especially in an apology that goes something like this..."I am sorry for what I have done and said to you..I truly regret that it happened...and I have learned..."  okay, that sounds alright and probably there is sincerity in that apology, however, I wouldn't phrase it that way... the latter part of that apology, I might just keep to myself... but that's me... probably because I grew up with a mother who always told us, "I don't want to hear that you're sorry if you are going to do it again... if you "regretted" what you've done, you wouldn't be a repeat offender" ... I even remember once when my niece broke a little cordial cup, after my mother had told her not to play with it, and she said, "Sorry Abuela, I didn't mean to.." my mother just looked at her and said, "if you had listened to me in the first place and not played with it, you wouldn't be saying "sorry" to me" ... I think of that incident often only because, if we would only stop and think about something we are about to do or say...just for a moment..and ask ourselves, "Will I be saying "sorry" afterwards?" then, we might be able to actually "forget regret...." and not miss our lives...

But we are human and none of us are perfect...we all do things that we might regret later.. but when I have that momentary feeling, I stop and reflect about it.. I try to turn it into a positive ... and ask myself... "what did I learn and how can I correct my thinking and behavior so that it doesn't happen again? .. so that.. I don't do it and I do not let it be done to me again?"  ... I am ever mindful that if God forgives the things I've done, and in order to grow spiritually from these experiences, I must forgive myself and others, and do better ... and most of all, I should not repeat my offenses and not let others repeat their offenses to me... if I do, then how am I being the blessed person that I want to be...?

One of my favorite prayers is the "Act of Contrition" ... It is a sincere apology to God... no where in the prayer does it say, "I regret my sins" though... it simply says.. "I am sorry with all my heart.. I chose to do wrong.. I intend to amend my ways by praying and avoiding whatever led me to have to apologize in the first place..."  those words can easily be used in sincerely apologizing to people we have offended ....... 

So, we eliminate the word regret... it's a waste of energy... ask for forgiveness, forgive yourself, and forgive others, too... and move on. Regrets will only weigh you down and will not allow you to grow as a person..... think of your regrets instead as a valuable experience... it may be years later that you realize what a wonderful experience it was for you, even though, at the time, it may have been unpleasant... you are ever changing... draw on the experiences you have already had in your life to become a better person... and 

if you catch yourself suddenly saying, “I just did something and now I totally regret it”, ask yourself  “Why?”.... Realizing and acknowledging that you have done something that you shouldn't have, is the first step in learning from it... then, turn it around into a positive experience... forget regret...

May you live your life and be able to say (as Frank Sinatra did),  "Regrets? I've had a few, But then again, too few to mention" .... and may those few never deter you from living the blessed life that you are intended to live... have faith, hope and love always....for you are loved beyond measure and are a cherished blessing to the world... 

May your day be filled with all things good.

With love,

Elena