Poet or Poem

Hello from my heart to yours...
 
"If you cannot be a poet, be the poem".  ~David Carradine, American Actor.. 
                                                                                                  best known for "Kung Fu"
 
Four years ago, I used this quote to speak of my little grasshopper, Giovanni... my oldest son, who left me at 14 to travel with his father... He returned to me in late January, a young man... ready to start college and work... he hasn't officially graduated from high school as we are awaiting the results of the homeschool exam, but he has already taken college classes and is registered for summer B in the Honors College.... I really have no idea what he will do in the Fall, (he has 4 schools to choose from) ...but it's okay really... I know that once he decides, he will just do it... He is strong-willed and independent..  intelligent and determined...  selective and methodical... his melancholic temperament is unbearable and frustrating to me and his brothers since we are so sanguine.. so outgoing.. so free....but Giovanni has learned to be outgoing and adventurous... and I believe that it's thanks to his father, who moved him around and exposed him to ... life...... 

He left Tuesday afternoon for a month-long trip to Europe... he wants to be the poet and write about all his travels... the way Master Po did as he walked the earth, absorbing knowledge through each encounter he had; surviving it stronger; and subsequently, teaching the young grasshopper ... Po was always so patient and kind... I loved that show and would love to be that way in teaching my boys... but we all know how hard it is... I think I may have gradually gotten better at this as the years have gone by... listening to them better... trying to speak to them in a loving manner... but I find that I often just stare at them not knowing exactly how to guide them... I am a unconventional mother... but then again, they are unconventional children... we try to plan things out, and for the most part, we follow through, but it's almost as if we are all the poems... God, the poet, seems to be in control of our lives... and it's not so bad really.... to have that kind of faith... 

After he was already on the plane, the father sent me a text.. "did we do right in sending him on this trip?" .... I responded, "It's in God's hands now" ... and it is... it's not like he hasn't traveled alone before.. and he probably knows Milan and the Eurail system better than the Miami transit system, but I suppose it is a little scary... he sent me a message from Moscow, but none since.... however, now is not the time to wonder if it was the right thing... we just have to pray that he draws on all the lessons we tried to teach him and then, hope that his faith and trust in God leads him to make the right choices while he is out there writing his poem...  

And so it should be with all of us in whatever we do... the quote is actually deeper than I remember when I used it last... I think that at times, we are the poets.. and at other times, we are the poems....... hmmmm? I have lost my train of thought because as I write, I can see this question flashing in front of me... "Am I the poet or am I the poem?" .. I may just have been stumped... 

Oh well, I welcome your thoughts... what are you, the poet or the poem? .... 

Regardless of the answer, remember that you are loved beyond measure and are a cherished blessing to the world.... 

may you be blessed with all things good,

With love,

Elena

p.s. write me a poem, Giovanni.... love and miss you already... I carry your heart.. Namaste.. 

Reflections of US

Hello from my heart to yours... 

"My role in society, or any artist's or poet's role, is to try and express what we all feel. Not to tell people how to feel. Not as a preacher, not as a leader, but as a reflection of us all." John Lennon

Amen, Amen... what a brilliant statement.... THAT's it... THAT's why I write for ME... for YOU... for US.... not everyone wants to express what they're feeling out loud.. and certainly not in written form, where it can be read over and over again by another.. and believe me, I'd like to rant plenty of times and show you all the "cloudofchaos", but then how would that be helping myself or US on our journey through life? ... anyway, let's face it, so many of us enjoy reading blogs on the internet.. we can relate to what people say.. we feel connected to them... we rejoice with them because they're like us.. we feel compassion for others who are going through the same thing as we are.. and we are consoled, too, because we know that we are not alone... 

So today, I don't have much to say really..... John pretty much said it all... we are all here.. travelling together... sharing the same joys and sorrows.. sometimes ... we are even experiencing the same things at the same moment as someone we know ... we are reflections of one another... remember that when you express yourselves, it affects others.. in a good way or in a bad way... if you are fortunate enough to have kindred spirits by your side always, then the journey becomes easier, since more than likely, the energy flows in a positive manner...

Of course, those who know me, know that most every blessing I write comes from something that has happened to me... About a week ago, someone called me a "spiritual narcissist" ... and accused me of writing these blessings in order to build up my ego-self... that I am a hypocrite basically because I do not practice what I preach... I've been reading a lot about spiritual narcissism... and I even questioned myself and my motives... I prayed a lot about it.... I certainly did not plan to write about it because I was very hurt by this insult, however, when I clicked on the "quote for the day" today, John reassured me of what I already knew... I am here for ME.. for YOU.. for US ... none of you have to believe everything I write.. you may not connect with every blessing... or you may be living a parallel life with me... only God knows.. I will tell you this, before I sit down and write anything, I say this short prayer, "Holy Spirit fill me with the words that I need to write this blessing... My God, use me as an instrument of Your love...Amen." ... simple as that.... I want to be a reflection of US all...

May you all remember that you are cherished blessings to the world.. 

................................reflect that in the way you live.. 

May you all remember that you are loved beyond measure... 

................................reflect that in the way you love...

May your weekend be filled with all things better than good,

I love you,

Elena

Light Source

Hello from my heart to yours.. 

"It doesn't matter how long we may have been stuck in a sense of our limitations. If we go into a darkened room and turn on the light, it doesn't matter if the room has been dark for a day, a week, or ten thousand years - we turn on the light and it is illuminated."

—Sharon Salzberg, Spiritual teacher and author

I love typing one or two subject words in the google search box and reading pages of quotes about it... so many times, the words of another are exactly what I am thinking... OR.. exactly NOT what I have been thinking, but they still cause me to reflect..... there are so many wonderful messengers in our world... so many blessed people saying things that cause us to stop and think for a minute... some quotes too deep for us to understand and we need to seek help from another source... and some quotes, like the one above, that is so simple really that it's almost an "a-ha" moment...

In my work, I go into many houses that are dark... dark because there is no electricity or dark because the previous owners left their shutters on or dark because there are simply not enough windows.. or dark because it is boarded up to keep squatters out... but when I flip the light switch, everything is illuminated... it's that easy really....

Sometimes, we are living in darkness because we are experiencing difficulties or have too much stress... we don't seem to find enough time to do all that we want to do.. there may be people in our lives who are draining us without us even realizing it... maybe we don't like our jobs.. or some of our friends are sucking us into their darkness... we might even be with a spouse or partner that is in the dark for any one of these reasons and slowly, we just start living in the dark with them instead of helping them turn on the light... or maybe, we are forgetting to pray and meditate and have strayed from the One true source of Light.... 

I have said this many, many times... WE carry the "light" within us... therefore, WE are light sources... what I think we need to do is remind ourselves of that everyday... when the light of the sun comes creeping through our windows in the morning, we have to remember that we have the opportunity to start anew with our light shining as brightly as the sun... 

I saw a movie a long time ago... and I wish I could remember what it was called, but it was about a guy (a politician I think) that went on a silent retreat of sorts... none of his colleagues could understand it, but he was an angry person and needed to find "peace" .. anyway, he loved the place where he was so much that he didn't want to return to his life.. when his ex-wife and friend go to get him and start aggravating him, he simply says out loud, "I am grateful for the sun. I am grateful for the moon. I am grateful for the trees......etc" .... I have never forgotten that and when I can't stand my boys and all the lunacy that ensues in my house, I start saying that... they know that I've had enough... and they slowly stop... the oldest says they stop because they just think I am crazy and I'm not engaging them anyways... lol.... but whatever..it works most of the time.....

What I want to illustrate with this movie tangent is that maybe if we woke up every morning and looked outside at the sun and said,

"Thank You, God, for the Sun. I am grateful that it is illuminating my world to remind me to turn my light on. I am thankful that I can be a light source for others. Help me to remember to send forth blessings of light always. Help me to remember that it is the "light within" that chases the darkness away always."

With that, I would, also, like to thank so many of you for being "light sources" for me... knowing that you are out there reminds me to keep my light on... 

May you always be aware that you are loved beyond measure and are a cherished blessing to me.

and as evening comes, may you be able to ward off the dark with your own lights... 

............Oh wait, and I almost forgot... at nightfall, my Jewish friends will be celebrating Shavu'ot.. it has been 50 days since Passover... today, they were "given" the Torah.. a marriage certificate between the Jews and God... therefore, it is the wedding anniversary of the Jewish people .. so, I'd like to say..."Happy Anniversary my Blessed friends..."  

With love,

Elena

Who You Are

Hello from my heart to yours.....

"When people show you who they are, believe them... the first time."    

                                                                       Maya Angelou

I really have a problem remembering this... .  I trust people instantly... why shouldn't I? For the most part, people are inherently good... right? and even if they have a momentary lapse of insanity, it doesn't mean that they are always going to behave that way... or does it? 

We are told to have faith in people... hope in people... but how do we regain the trust we have in people when they have shown us who they really are in a negative sense? How do we once again believe that "it'll never happen again" or "I was stressed out...those horrific words were not intended for you really" .. or when they lay on that catholic guilt by saying "why can't you just forgive me, as God would do, and let's pick up where we left off.."   Oh, I don't know... I'm thinking, "maybe because you hurt me, disrespected me, broke my heart... yeah.. well, I do forgive you, however, I do not believe that God wants me to forget..." 

Matthew 6:15 says, “But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”  Well, God has the ability to not recall the sins He has forgiven of us, if He remembered, we'd be in a lot of trouble I think... If we repent, He forgives us and it's done.... unfortunately, we humans can’t always do that.. I believe that remembering a wrong does not necessarily mean we have not forgiven it. Forgiveness is an action, not just in the mind... to forgive means to not let our actions be RE-actions to the actions against us... and that in itself is very hard because our memories are even better when we have been wronged by someone... anyway, since love is an action, too, not a feeling, we need to act accordingly.. feelings happen... it's what we do with those feelings that concerns God... 

I never claim to be like Mother Teresa... and I am sure I have shown people the "other side of the cloudofpeace", but never unprovoked ... I am a non-confrontationalist... if I need to move away from a relationship, well.. that's what I do.. I may offer a little bit of an explanation, but I don't really feel that I have to... many times, offering a "reason", only ends up hurting the other person or provoking an argument whereby, many "ugly" things are said... it's just nicer to say, "Thank you..it's been real... but it's done..." .. I don't know.. seems cruel I suppose, but I am okay with someone saying that to me... I mean, why on earth would I want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me? ... sure, it hurts... but "letting go" is part of loving....

Okay so.. I had to "let one go" .. one of my people, who I have known since childhood... isn't the first one and probably won't be the last one, but none-the-less.. one of my people are gone... deleted from the blessings (at their request) and blocked on facebook (at mine) ... oh well, that's the way it is with life.. some of the most beautiful days come completely by chance, but even those days eventually have their sunsets... 

It seems strange to write such a negative blessing... I think it's actually making me sick to my stomach this early in the morning... so, I am letting it go... regardless of what they think, I would like to say, with all sincerity, to all those who are no longer in my life, as Mahatma Gandhi said, "There are no good-byes, wherever you'll be, you'll be in heart" ...

Now.... where was I? People showing us who they are... yes, while I started with the negative side of that, let's switch to the positive side, which is what I always like to emphasize... There are people whose lights shine so brightly that they can warm a room with just their smile... there are those who walk by you and they smell as if they have been to heaven..... there are those who look you in the eye when you meet them for the first time and you see the love in their hearts instantly.... and there are those, believe it or not, that you exchange written words with on Facebook, and your heart delights in recognizing yourself in them.... yeah, crazy... but when my kindred sister, "Karen", writes "I love you" on my wall... I totally believe she does.. and boy, do I love her, too.... heck, even here... when I get an email from "Carol", a woman I once bought some beads from, who then later, knitted some fabulous socks for me, I just melt... she shows me who she is and all the goodness in her heart without asking anything in return...  

So.. let me sum it up already... This is my heartfelt wish to you all.... May you be able to show everyone who you really are... the blessed people you are... show everyone all the love you have in your heart... the first time.. and the second time... and the third time... and always... and may you be able to recognize when people are showing you who they really are... positively or negatively... so that you can "act" accordingly... and by all means... hang on to those who show you God ... there are actually more of them, than of the ones we have to let go of... and by all means, always show one another how loved beyond measure we all are... 

We are cherished blessings to the world.... may your day be blessed with an abundance of love in action... 

With love,

Elena

i carry your heart

Hello from my heart to yours....

"i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)" ee cummings

This is a semi-recycled blessing... every so often, something happens and I say, "I have had this feeling before.. I have written about it... let me see what I had to say.."  and I go through he archives... not that much has changed since I sent it almost 2 years ago.. but the story has... I carry more hearts than I did then... many more.. and I feel so blessed that I am able to do so... anyway...... today's story was triggered by boxes and boxes of shoes.. yep, SHOE BOXES... my mind works that way.. lol... In 2005, Cameron Diaz starred in a movie called, "In Her Shoes" .. it is an adorable story about sisters who have nothing in common but their shoe size... 

This past weekend, my youngest sister had a beautiful baby girl.. They named her Sabina ... precious, precious, little thing... but the blessing is not about her... it's about the shoe boxes...

I stayed at my friend's apartment in downtown Orlando.. I haven't seen her for about 20 years (possibly more), but we email and text sometimes and when I said I was on my way there, she immediately offered me her apartment.. mind you, she was at St. George Island and she told me that I probably wasn't going to see her but for an hour or 2 on Saturday when she was popping in to change and go on some other adventure... I was cracking up of course... these are the kinds of friends I have... the "forever" kind...

Anyway, I took my 17 year old son with me and well.. you know teenagers are snoopers... he opened up the closet door and you would've thought he won the lotto... he yelled, "Mama.. look at all these shoe boxes.. and fabulous shoes.. I think they are your size, too.."  and so there I was, trying on her chic shoes... hahahahahaha...  and thinking of all the "posh" events we used to go to when we lived and worked at the Capitol together... and I thought of the movie... and felt such a warm feeling for my "sister" .. and I remembered the poem...  "i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)" .. seriously, don't you just want to cry? the emotion that comes with those words is enough to make anyone want to, I think...... it's no wonder that it's always been one of my favorite poems.. after all, I am hopelessly in love with "My People" ... (yep.. you guys again... ) ... and this "Sister" of mine.. she has been carrying my heart, too.. a huge autographed photograph of us from 1993, in sheer silliness, hangs in her in her office.. a Rod McKuen book that I had copied for her to give her inspiration to continue writing is on her bookshelf... packs of cigarettes hidden in a drawer for me just in case I wanted a puff after drinking the beers that she left in the fridge for me.. and a note that simply said, "Little One" .. that was me.. that's what she has always called me... 

Oh wow...... ramble, ramble, ramble... the poem... although this poem is so often used in a "romantic love" context, if we think about it as God speaking those words to us, a feeling of comfort comes over us... we are filled with love... if we are secure in the fact that God is carrying our hearts, then, it becomes so simple for us to carry one another's hearts, doesn't it? Since I wrote the first "i carry your heart" blessing, my youngest and I adopted the phrase.. every time we leave one another, and at bedtime after prayers, instead of saying, "goodbye" or "goodnight", we say several things .... it goes like this: "Asalaam Aleikum.. Sat Sri Akaal.. I have faith in you.. Namaste.. (and finally).. I carry your heart".. to which he always responds, "I carry yours forever" ... 

I can think of so many "hearts" I carry... even friends (like this "sister") that I haven't seen in 20 years or more... I think of them and my heart smiles... and then, I stay in their apartment for a weekend and it just confirms it for me... carrying people's hearts is easy when you allow God to carry yours... 

So, let me close with this proposal of sorts... a little task for you all... first imagine God carrying your heart.. feel His love for you.. then, look around you.. maybe start with your spouse or your significant other... and then, continue with your children, your family, your friends and even your co-workers (as many are your friends) and say to yourself or out loud, "i carry your heart, (i carry it in my heart)" ... let yourself feel the emotion of the words fill you... watch as the one you are saying it to is filled with the emotion you are giving them ... don't be afraid to cry because I think you will want to, too... truly feel the love that is within you ... you are all loved beyond measure and cherished blessings to the world.. we should all carry one another's hearts in our hearts just as God so graciously does for us.. it really isn't that difficult for us to give something that we have an abundance of..... LOVE....

May your day be blessed with all things good,

i carry your hearts, (i carry it in my heart)

I love you,

Elena

Prayer

Hello from my heart to yours....

 

"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven."  Matthew 18:19

 

If someone told you that by changing one thing about your relationships with people would guarantee that your lives together would significantly improve... wouldn't you at least want to know what it was?  Well, there are probably many "one thing's", but today the "one thing" I'd like to tell you about is the practice of praying together. 

 

If you tend to devalue spiritual matters.. this may sound ridiculous... but the unity that grows between people who pray together forms an intense powerful connection.  This especially holds true for married couples as you have a partner for life to pray with.... praying with your children also creates an everlasting bond... and imagine the possibilities if you pray with your friends... the love that grows between you can be as strong or even stronger than a family tie.

 

When I worked as a Legislative Assistant at the Capitol in Tallahassee, I lived with an old woman named Ernestine... it was only supposed to be for the 2 month session, but I loved living there and decided to stay and she allowed me to stay in her house for as long as I wanted.  She was an old southern Baptist who was very active in her church... In the fall, she took a yearly trip to Georgia on a bus with her friends from the church to see the "colors" of autumn... I drove her over to meet her group and before she got out of the car she took my hands and said, "Pray with me... Oh Heavenly Father, watch over this little girl while she is alone in my home... and watch over me as I journey with my friends to see the wondrous beauty of this season that You have created for us... I ask this in Jesus' name... Amen" .. 

 

Of course, it wasn't the first time that someone had asked me to pray with them, but it is a moment, that even now, almost 30 years later, I recall as if it were yesterday.... 

 

The Catholic church has a slogan that says... The family that prays together, stays together.  The saying  comes from interpretations of the Book of Proverbs regarding the Virtuous Woman and from the Book of Ruth which has parallels .. It is not an actual Proverb that can be found in the Bible however. This Slogan was first used by the Roman Catholic Family Rosary Crusade led by Father Patrick Peyton. The crusade began in 1942 and the slogan was apparently first broadcast on March 6, 1947 during the radio program Family Theater of the Air. .. (just a little trivia....)

 

We tried this in our home when we were in college... we would sit with my abuela and crack up ... she wanted to do the rosary in spanish.. we wanted to do it in english... my brother would race through the Hail Mary.. the other would laugh... she'd make us start over... we'd roll our eyes... she'd roll her eyes ... and  finally ... she'd shake her head saying... "Haci no se reza el rosario" (This isn't how you pray the Rosary) ... however, in retrospect... it was a lovely 20 minutes where we all came together and prayed...  

I do say daily prayers... alone and with my 3 boys... it helps that I still have a little one because he will call the older ones in to pray with him... and I pray with some of my friends... mostly my "church" friends... oh wait, yep, just dawned on me as I write this, I pray with the ones I KNOW will pray with me... and I have prayed with strangers because they have asked me to... but I would love to say a little prayer every once in awhile with some of my other friends...  it's just that it's almost creepy to just walk up to them and say, "Let's say a little prayer together" ... ok...I am totally LOL right now envisioning the reaction on some of their faces... 

 

great... now I'm laughing and in rambling mode.... and I apologize.... how are you going to take me seriously when I say, "Pray Together" ?

 

Maybe if I give you some examples of people who pray together in public and in groups..... the easiest to envision are the people in your church or temple... now, think of the sports teams that huddle together in prayer before a game... or the Legislature that starts its sessions with an "interfaith" prayer...... or the people who offer their prayers on Facebook on a "group" page like "Pray for Bella" 

 

and now ... imagine how much easier it is to hold your spouses hand... you boyfriend/girlfriend's hand... your mother/father's hand.... your child's hand... your friends hand... and just say a little prayer together.... WE can do it because we are loved beyond measure and are cherished blessings to the world.... 

let us Pray with the world's people....

 

May you be blessed with all things good,

With Love,

Elena