The Day is Done

Hello from my heart to yours....

“His talent was as natural as the pattern that was made by the dust on a butterfly's wings. At one time he understood it no more than the butterfly did and he did not know when it was brushed or marred. Later he became conscious of his damaged wings and of their construction and he learned to think and could not fly any more because the love of flight was gone and he could only remember when it had been effortless.” Ernest Hemingway, A Moveable Feast


That has to be one of the saddest quotes from HEM's book, but I have always loved it.... I have known many people like F. Scott Fitzgerald, whom he is speaking of..... today, I can relate to the quote myself.... since I once was a writer of blessings..... a talent that came naturally to me... something that was effortless for me..... sometimes too effortless.... sure I have had moments of absence before.. moments of silence.... however, the words were always tugging at my heart.. I would just seem to lose my way or take a different path, but I would find my way back eventually... the blessing "sabbaticals" never lasted this long........ and though my wings are not damaged and I still want to fly, it isn't in the direction of writing blessings anymore... because it isn't effortless anymore... I am thinking of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's poem, "The Day is Done" ... it's a long poem (too long to post here without boring you).. but basically he is describing the end of a long and exhausting day at work... he comes home and wants his lover to read a poem to him.... I do not feel that the last 7 years have been long and exhausting.... I think I feel that the times when I do not write have been long and exhausting.... but I just do not have anything else to say.... like Longfellow, I want to come home to a poem of simplicity which will carry me off to another place... I want to be able to close my eyes and feel the humility of the poet who expresses peaceful serenity...  I want to hear it being read to me quietly, almost in a whisper, so that I can let go of the cares of the day and tune into the music of life... the work day is over for him... the blessings are over for me... I want to embrace the night and use this time of slumbering to express myself not as "the girl who writes the blessings" ... but perhaps just... "the girl who writes" ... and if I happen to write a blessing, well then, bravo... 

At the suggestion of my oldest son, I have created a new blog called, "The Other Side of "Cloud of Peace" ..yeah, it sounds a little bit evil... like "The Other Side of Eden" ... but it would allow me to just write about anything I want to write about without having to focus on the "blessing" of it... I do not plan to bombard any of you with emails anymore...but I will always be available for you through this email and/or through facebook.... 

I think of you all very often... I carry your hearts in my heart.... Remember that you are loved beyond measure and are a cherished blessing to the world and me always.... you can always visit my "blessing" blog at  http://www.mycloudofpeace.blogspot.com/ to read some of the blessings I have posted in the last 2 years (and maybe you'll find a new one every now and then)... ... and/or you can visit my new blog at http://theothersideofcloudofpeace.blogspot.com/ ... (though this will be my first entry there) ..... 

I once was a writer of blessings..... and I am forever thankful to God for giving me that gift for so long....and I am forever thankful to all of you for blessing me with your friendship for so long.... 

May your life be blessed with all things good.... 

I love you,

Elena

Yom Kippur ... and Divine Forgiveness for ALL ....

“Blessed is the Name of the glory of Your kingship forever and ever”.... second verse of the Shema...

Throughout the year, this blessing is recited in an undertone, as it was “stolen” from the angels. On Yom Kippur, however, we are likened to angels, so we too, like the angels, can recite it out loud.... so, let's begin the blessing by proclaiming......

“Blessed is the Name of the glory of Your kingship forever and ever”...

Yom Kippur, also known as "the Day of Atonement", is the holiest day of the year for the Jewish people.... According to Jewish tradition, God inscribes each person's fate for the coming year into a book, the "Book of Life", on Rosh HaShanah, and waits until Yom Kippur to "seal" the verdict.... The Tefila Zaka meditation says.. "I fully and finally forgive everyone; may no one be punished because of me. And just as I forgive everyone, so may You grant me grace in the eyes of others, that they too forgive me absolutely." During Yom Kippur itself, Jews fast and pray for God's forgiveness for the transgressions they have made against God in the prior year. Sincere repentance is required, and once again, God can only forgive one for the sins one has committed against God; this is why it is necessary for Jews also to seek the forgiveness of those people who they have wronged.

Of course, I am no expert really.. this is what I read on a website... and since I am Christian, I wanted to, also, read about WWJD (What Would Jesus Do)?  We cannot exactly know, but since He was Jewish.. we can believe that He fasted and prayed, together with His community.. He took His own measure, mingling regret and resolve.... He reflected on the year just past, and looked ahead to the year forthcoming... and as so many of His parables say, "Jesus took comfort in a gracious God, Who welcomed not only the "perfect", but also, the penitent... 

Because today is about forgiveness... and what I like to do is "connect" us all... I thought that I would give you all a little background on what we ALL believe regarding forgiveness.....

The Roman Catholics and Orthodox Christians teach that God's forgiveness is received through personal repentance in conjunction with the ministry of the Church, that is, the Body of Christ. They teach to make formal confession of sins individually in the presence of a priest, and to obtain absolution as a formal expression by the church of God's forgiveness. It is taught that the sacrifice of Jesus via the crucifixion is the vehicle through which God forgives the believer of his or her sins. The sacrament of communion is regarded as central to the reception of divine forgiveness.

The Buddhists believe that in contemplating the law of karma, they realize that it is not a matter of seeking revenge but of practicing metta and forgiveness, for the victimizer is, truly, the most unfortunate of all....
 
Islamic belief teaches that God (Allah) is 'the most forgiving', and is the original source of all forgiveness. Forgiveness often requires the repentance of those being forgiven. Depending on the type of wrong committed, forgiveness can come either directly from Allah, or from one's fellow man whom received the wrong. In the case of divine forgiveness, the asking for divine forgiveness via repentance is important. In the case of human forgiveness, it is important to both forgive, and to be forgiven.

Ivanla Vanzant, New Thought Spiritual Teacher, said, "Forgiveness is the most powerful tool you have to lessen your burden and heal your life.  Simply be willing.  Your willingness creates a space for miracles to occur." I think that in order for the miracle to occur... we must believe that forgiveness is the awakening to the reality that the separation never occurred in God’s "eternal" reality... the space created by our willingness to forgive, should be open an free of debris.... the inability to forgive, creates blocks that do not allow us to see the eternal goodness in... and the unity and equality with... one’s brothers and sisters.  When we forgive, we remove the fog obscuring the reflection of God within others, which leads to the same sight within ourselves.... If we forgive, we will find that there isn't anything that can be done to us that can affect the eternal oneness that God has created.... all will remain as God created... and we, as blessed people, will remain united in God’s eternal love....  after all, we all make mistakes... we all carry burdens... and so, if WE repent, WE are all offered Divine forgiveness.. 

May the gift of forgiveness open us up to receive goodness in our lives so that we can be the blessed people God intends for us to be because we are all loved beyond measure and are cherished blessings to the world... 

Today, I fast and pray, as Jesus did... I fast and pray in solidarity with all my Jewish brothers and sisters, whom I love so much.. for what we do together is more powerful than what we do individually... we receive more Divine light and grace...  "Tzom Kal"

May your day be blessed with the miracle of forgiveness,
With love,
Elena

Beginnings

Hello from my heart to yours....

"The secret to a rich life is to have more beginnings than endings."  
                                                                             Dave Weinbaum, the new voice of a conservative America 
      
Well... here we go again with the first days of school.... some of us comforting our children... some of us thanking God that summer is over... some of us worrying.. some of us celebrating... Some of this blessing is "Recycled & Reused", however, by the time I finish, I can't guarantee that it will be "Reduced" .... the same as last year, Giorgio came back to the United States a day before school started... except this year, he was away most of the summer.. his first summer in which he only spent maybe 3 weeks of it with me.... last year, he did want to start school... this year, he was ready to go... I was only called "the meanest mama" once for having bought him a blue book bag... okay, I'll take that... he wants to use the same one from last year... and if that's the only complaint, we will definitely be good..... no, no... we will be better than good......

Unlike last year, where it was only he and I, this year, the teens are back... the oldest has been going to college since January and working and travelling and doing what all teens do I guess... he made sure he could go to school on scholarship so that he could stay home and mooch off of me... hahahha... (and I am supposed to be happy about this...) anyway, he is living his life... the middle one has begun his 11th grade homeschooling program and starts college next week as a dual-enrollee... his goal is to finish his AA at the same time that he graduates from high school... good plan (as long as he sticks to it) .... and me? well, I am actually having a new beginning at work, too.......still in the transitioning phase, but I am excited... after all, it's that time of year, isn't it?

Our lives seem to follow a calendar of "beginning" again with every new school year (whether we have children or not) ... everything seems to take on a different motion.. a different vibration... vacations are over .. the laziness of long summer days are gone.. the traffic patterns change..  work schedules change .. etc... it seems like the perfect time to seize every opportunity as new ideas and inspirations come our way so that we can prepare to harvest all those glorious things in the Autumn... we should be gentle with ourselves though... think of how the children are starting a whole new year of their lives and remember back to when you were in school... the feelings of happiness and excitement, apprehension and fear... fortunately, everyone was having similar feelings and old friends helped us through and new friends helped us through and we survived... most of us look back at our school days with great fondness.. "beginning" again was effortless really... it was life in motion.. it should always be so effortless... .

We all know the there is an intense energy when we are beginning something new... I remember when I was a teacher, how exciting it was to prepare the classroom for the first day... how I wanted everything to be just perfect and inviting and peaceful for when the students walked in... and I remember the expressions on the little people's faces.. some would come in and hug you as if you were their only teacher ever.. kind of what Giorgio did this year.... he loves his teachers.. it's the same ones as last year... and the assistant teacher rode on the airplane back from the Dominican with him so he felt like he had an extra special connection with her when telling his friends about his summer.... and then, other kids just look at their teachers with skinny eyes... lol.....  I remember now as I am writing this that when I was teaching, every day was like a new beginning... oh those 21+ personalities a teacher has to work with daily... hmmmmm....(come back, Dory)... topic of another blessing ....let me wrap this one up.....

The energy of beginning something new.. (that's where I was)......... absorb this energy and send it forth to others.... be a joyous one...  offer love from this space of joy....  inspire those around you...  give them the deep and lasting spiritual tools to help them.. .  gifts such as these are from God and they are given to us to share....   In God's world there is enough love, enough money, enough joy for all...  God asks you to give out of the fullness of your being....  God loves you...  do not be afraid of "beginning" anything... embrace every challenge with faith, hope and love... every "beginning" gets you closer to becoming the blessed person God intends you to be.. honor the light within you and share it with others so they are not afraid of "beginning" either... 

As a daughter of the Moon, I have to let you know that we are beginning this school year with a full moon... a blue moon.. (yes, another tangent...) the moon is in Aquarius all day today... so I am praying that it will be a great day for me... it is believed that even though the Aquarius Moon is individualistic and values its independence, it also, values the "team" ...because I believe you are all part of my "blessed team", this makes me feel extra energized and my heart is lighted with fire.... when a Full Moon occurs, we can use that energy to suddenly burst forth with proclamations ... it's an outpouring of energy that is fresh and new... therefore, if you believe in astrology, go for it... block that Leo Sun and use the energy of the Aquarius Moon to your favor... (I know I sound like a loon, but it's all about what works for you... )

Of course, if you do not believe in that sort of thing, then simply use the beginning of the school year as an excuse... make it a grand and glorious time - a time of opportunity, growth, and greater ability to exist in the truth of God's love... with each "beginning", your light becomes brighter..... and your life becomes richer ... 
 
and for the teachers and children... I offer this prayer today:
 
Infinite Spirit of God, open the hearts and minds of the teachers..that they may see our children as individuals .. each unique and beautiful children of God..... that they demonstrate faith, hope and love in the children's ability to learn ... give them patience and understanding... help them to always feel the excitement of these "beginning" school days throughout the whole year.... open the hearts and minds and ears of the children... so that they feel the love and openly receive all the wonderful things that their teachers will be teaching them... give them patience and understanding with one another.. help them to embrace every school day with hope and joy  ... thank You, God, for blessing this "beginning" of a new adventure in teaching and in learning... Amen.
 
May your day be blessed with all things good,
I have missed you..... I love you......
Elena

Daddy... A Journal Entry

Hello from my heart to yours....

"No one should be crying.... Daddy lived a happy life and now he's going to live a happier one in heaven..."  Giorgio, 10 yr old grandson

Amen, Amen ... but of course, we are crying.... a hurricanes of tears..... and so is he, by the way, but at least he does get it... Daddy is living a happier life in Heaven just as God promised... and we should rejoice... 

My Daddy was the happiest man.. and the kindest... and the sweetest.. and the most loving .... when I first met him, I did not really like him.... course, that's what he always said, but I can't remember not liking him ever... except when he was reprimanding me or giving me some kind of life lesson.. sure, I would roll my eyes and look up to the heavens like all children do when their parents lecture them... but he was patient and understanding and never yelled... he was the comforting parent.. the encouraging one.. the one who thought that none of his 5 children could do anything wrong... 

Besides my mother, I am the child who lived with him the longest... I adored him and he adored me... I always thought my mother would pass before him, which was insane to think because my father was 19 years older than her... and I would tell him, "I will take care of you, Daddy, when Ma dies" and he would just smile and respond, "You know I am going to die before she does.. I am just happy you are taking care of me now.."  ... but what he really wanted was to be alone with my Ma... I invaded their "empty nest" and brought 2 kids with me... and then, I had a 3rd child, who has lived with him all of his ten year old life... Daddy loved my boys insanely... he was retired and bored... they gave him something to do... Giovanni (my oldest) would get up every morning to have breakfast with him.. that was "their" special quiet time... the afternon, belonged to Giancarlo (my middle child) .. Daddy taught him how to play cards and poker, which upsets my mother to this day because she said he was turning my kid into a gambler...lol... the evening belonged to Giorgio.. they'd watch Jeopardy together and they would fall asleep in the chair together... 

When the older boys left to travel with their father, Giorgio became everything to Daddy... they were partners... Daddy made coffee and Giorgio would deliver it to my mother's bedside..  Daddy taught Giorgio how to make fried eggs and toast.. and they would take turns each morning making it for one another... they were popcorn-aholics... and Tom & Jerry fanatics.. they fought over who was going to get the mail and who was going to water the plants... Daddy celebrated every crazy thing Giorgio did and they were always laughing ... It was only fitting that Giorgio was with him when Daddy closed his eyes forever... 

This past year, even though he was becoming more fragile, he was the happiest I think... my mother retired and they moved to the Dominican Republic... he had her all to himself.. no children, no grandchildren.. only my uncle over there to keep them company every so often... he LOVED my mother fiercely... the way Shakespeare said it should be... she was the poetry in his life... she was his adventure.. she was his love.. a love that overthrew life.. ungovernable... like a constant riot in his heart... and in the end, my mother showed us that she, too, loved my Daddy with the same intensity.. and maybe even more... 

My heart is so heavy... none of us have even seen our mother yet.. Daddy died in the D.R. last Saturday.. and they were finally given permission to fly him back to Miami today.. I haven't even held my boys, who laid at his bedside.. taking turns putting their ears close to his heart and convincing themselves that they could still hear his heart beating.. when they all accepted that there was no more breath in him, Giorgio called me... 

and so it is... life... eternal life... (to be continued....  I am in a haze.....)

May you all be blessed... you are loved beyond measure and are a cherished blessing to the world... please pray for my family... 

With love, 

Elena

p.s. for all my local brothers and sisters in Christ, here is the link to the services.. if you can, please come and share in the Holy Eucharist with my family.. http://tributes.com/show/Pablo-Diaz-96029178  

Poet or Poem

Hello from my heart to yours...
 
"If you cannot be a poet, be the poem".  ~David Carradine, American Actor.. 
                                                                                                  best known for "Kung Fu"
 
Four years ago, I used this quote to speak of my little grasshopper, Giovanni... my oldest son, who left me at 14 to travel with his father... He returned to me in late January, a young man... ready to start college and work... he hasn't officially graduated from high school as we are awaiting the results of the homeschool exam, but he has already taken college classes and is registered for summer B in the Honors College.... I really have no idea what he will do in the Fall, (he has 4 schools to choose from) ...but it's okay really... I know that once he decides, he will just do it... He is strong-willed and independent..  intelligent and determined...  selective and methodical... his melancholic temperament is unbearable and frustrating to me and his brothers since we are so sanguine.. so outgoing.. so free....but Giovanni has learned to be outgoing and adventurous... and I believe that it's thanks to his father, who moved him around and exposed him to ... life...... 

He left Tuesday afternoon for a month-long trip to Europe... he wants to be the poet and write about all his travels... the way Master Po did as he walked the earth, absorbing knowledge through each encounter he had; surviving it stronger; and subsequently, teaching the young grasshopper ... Po was always so patient and kind... I loved that show and would love to be that way in teaching my boys... but we all know how hard it is... I think I may have gradually gotten better at this as the years have gone by... listening to them better... trying to speak to them in a loving manner... but I find that I often just stare at them not knowing exactly how to guide them... I am a unconventional mother... but then again, they are unconventional children... we try to plan things out, and for the most part, we follow through, but it's almost as if we are all the poems... God, the poet, seems to be in control of our lives... and it's not so bad really.... to have that kind of faith... 

After he was already on the plane, the father sent me a text.. "did we do right in sending him on this trip?" .... I responded, "It's in God's hands now" ... and it is... it's not like he hasn't traveled alone before.. and he probably knows Milan and the Eurail system better than the Miami transit system, but I suppose it is a little scary... he sent me a message from Moscow, but none since.... however, now is not the time to wonder if it was the right thing... we just have to pray that he draws on all the lessons we tried to teach him and then, hope that his faith and trust in God leads him to make the right choices while he is out there writing his poem...  

And so it should be with all of us in whatever we do... the quote is actually deeper than I remember when I used it last... I think that at times, we are the poets.. and at other times, we are the poems....... hmmmm? I have lost my train of thought because as I write, I can see this question flashing in front of me... "Am I the poet or am I the poem?" .. I may just have been stumped... 

Oh well, I welcome your thoughts... what are you, the poet or the poem? .... 

Regardless of the answer, remember that you are loved beyond measure and are a cherished blessing to the world.... 

may you be blessed with all things good,

With love,

Elena

p.s. write me a poem, Giovanni.... love and miss you already... I carry your heart.. Namaste.. 

Reflections of US

Hello from my heart to yours... 

"My role in society, or any artist's or poet's role, is to try and express what we all feel. Not to tell people how to feel. Not as a preacher, not as a leader, but as a reflection of us all." John Lennon

Amen, Amen... what a brilliant statement.... THAT's it... THAT's why I write for ME... for YOU... for US.... not everyone wants to express what they're feeling out loud.. and certainly not in written form, where it can be read over and over again by another.. and believe me, I'd like to rant plenty of times and show you all the "cloudofchaos", but then how would that be helping myself or US on our journey through life? ... anyway, let's face it, so many of us enjoy reading blogs on the internet.. we can relate to what people say.. we feel connected to them... we rejoice with them because they're like us.. we feel compassion for others who are going through the same thing as we are.. and we are consoled, too, because we know that we are not alone... 

So today, I don't have much to say really..... John pretty much said it all... we are all here.. travelling together... sharing the same joys and sorrows.. sometimes ... we are even experiencing the same things at the same moment as someone we know ... we are reflections of one another... remember that when you express yourselves, it affects others.. in a good way or in a bad way... if you are fortunate enough to have kindred spirits by your side always, then the journey becomes easier, since more than likely, the energy flows in a positive manner...

Of course, those who know me, know that most every blessing I write comes from something that has happened to me... About a week ago, someone called me a "spiritual narcissist" ... and accused me of writing these blessings in order to build up my ego-self... that I am a hypocrite basically because I do not practice what I preach... I've been reading a lot about spiritual narcissism... and I even questioned myself and my motives... I prayed a lot about it.... I certainly did not plan to write about it because I was very hurt by this insult, however, when I clicked on the "quote for the day" today, John reassured me of what I already knew... I am here for ME.. for YOU.. for US ... none of you have to believe everything I write.. you may not connect with every blessing... or you may be living a parallel life with me... only God knows.. I will tell you this, before I sit down and write anything, I say this short prayer, "Holy Spirit fill me with the words that I need to write this blessing... My God, use me as an instrument of Your love...Amen." ... simple as that.... I want to be a reflection of US all...

May you all remember that you are cherished blessings to the world.. 

................................reflect that in the way you live.. 

May you all remember that you are loved beyond measure... 

................................reflect that in the way you love...

May your weekend be filled with all things better than good,

I love you,

Elena

Light Source

Hello from my heart to yours.. 

"It doesn't matter how long we may have been stuck in a sense of our limitations. If we go into a darkened room and turn on the light, it doesn't matter if the room has been dark for a day, a week, or ten thousand years - we turn on the light and it is illuminated."

—Sharon Salzberg, Spiritual teacher and author

I love typing one or two subject words in the google search box and reading pages of quotes about it... so many times, the words of another are exactly what I am thinking... OR.. exactly NOT what I have been thinking, but they still cause me to reflect..... there are so many wonderful messengers in our world... so many blessed people saying things that cause us to stop and think for a minute... some quotes too deep for us to understand and we need to seek help from another source... and some quotes, like the one above, that is so simple really that it's almost an "a-ha" moment...

In my work, I go into many houses that are dark... dark because there is no electricity or dark because the previous owners left their shutters on or dark because there are simply not enough windows.. or dark because it is boarded up to keep squatters out... but when I flip the light switch, everything is illuminated... it's that easy really....

Sometimes, we are living in darkness because we are experiencing difficulties or have too much stress... we don't seem to find enough time to do all that we want to do.. there may be people in our lives who are draining us without us even realizing it... maybe we don't like our jobs.. or some of our friends are sucking us into their darkness... we might even be with a spouse or partner that is in the dark for any one of these reasons and slowly, we just start living in the dark with them instead of helping them turn on the light... or maybe, we are forgetting to pray and meditate and have strayed from the One true source of Light.... 

I have said this many, many times... WE carry the "light" within us... therefore, WE are light sources... what I think we need to do is remind ourselves of that everyday... when the light of the sun comes creeping through our windows in the morning, we have to remember that we have the opportunity to start anew with our light shining as brightly as the sun... 

I saw a movie a long time ago... and I wish I could remember what it was called, but it was about a guy (a politician I think) that went on a silent retreat of sorts... none of his colleagues could understand it, but he was an angry person and needed to find "peace" .. anyway, he loved the place where he was so much that he didn't want to return to his life.. when his ex-wife and friend go to get him and start aggravating him, he simply says out loud, "I am grateful for the sun. I am grateful for the moon. I am grateful for the trees......etc" .... I have never forgotten that and when I can't stand my boys and all the lunacy that ensues in my house, I start saying that... they know that I've had enough... and they slowly stop... the oldest says they stop because they just think I am crazy and I'm not engaging them anyways... lol.... but whatever..it works most of the time.....

What I want to illustrate with this movie tangent is that maybe if we woke up every morning and looked outside at the sun and said,

"Thank You, God, for the Sun. I am grateful that it is illuminating my world to remind me to turn my light on. I am thankful that I can be a light source for others. Help me to remember to send forth blessings of light always. Help me to remember that it is the "light within" that chases the darkness away always."

With that, I would, also, like to thank so many of you for being "light sources" for me... knowing that you are out there reminds me to keep my light on... 

May you always be aware that you are loved beyond measure and are a cherished blessing to me.

and as evening comes, may you be able to ward off the dark with your own lights... 

............Oh wait, and I almost forgot... at nightfall, my Jewish friends will be celebrating Shavu'ot.. it has been 50 days since Passover... today, they were "given" the Torah.. a marriage certificate between the Jews and God... therefore, it is the wedding anniversary of the Jewish people .. so, I'd like to say..."Happy Anniversary my Blessed friends..."  

With love,

Elena