Plan Five
We are the hunters, not the hunted. In the bars or on the jousting field, we are the seekers. Not lost, we are only between findings. Looking up from silence into noon and noise. Staring past tomorrow. Willing we are to try any new way if it will lead us from the old. Rod McKuen, Poet, Composer & Friend to the World's People
We are the hunters, not the hunted. In the bars or on the jousting field, we are the seekers. Not lost, we are only between findings. Looking up from silence into noon and noise. Staring past tomorrow. Willing we are to try any new way if it will lead us from the old. Rod McKuen, Poet, Composer & Friend to the World's People
I read this plan to my brother (on a video) for one of his 20-something birthdays ... I remember that I was living in Tallahassee at the time and thought how appropriate it was for us... not just he and I, but all my siblings... we are consistently "only between findings.." ......sounds like a horrible thing really.. as if we are indecisive people or something, however, we aren't.. we are ever-changing and evolving.. and God-willing, it's always for the better.... anyway, that's where I have been for the past months I suppose.... always wanting to write, but never quite finding the words... so much going on.. so little going on... just seeking something and not really knowing what.... just "between"...
In the past, my inability to write usually stemmed from a flickering heart-light and a drain on my energy... and today, it is no different.... I have written a lot about the light within and the energy exchange between people, but I somehow forgot to replenish my own .... and then, my teenagers came home... I haven't seen them in 9 months as they have been studying abroad... They arrived on Sunday, in all their splendor, to ignite my flame again...and I feel as though I have been found!
Yesterday, I read this quote....
"Love without attachment is the purest love because it isn't about what others can give you because you're empty... it is about what you can give others because you're already full.." (Yasmin Mogahed)
THAT "pure" love is what I forgot about during all these months of silence... it's as if time did not pass for them while we have been away from one another... they truly love without attachment... I would like to credit myself a little for that, but find it so conceited to say...lol... however, their father says that all they do is praise my "hippie" ways... so, maybe it is because of me... I certainly want to believe it is .... but I wouldn't mind if God took all the credit..... anyway, the other part of the quote says "attachment is about fear and dependency, and has more to do with love of self than love of another" .... when they were little, their grandmother told me that my children did not belong to me.. they belonged to life ... and I should give them a foundation full of unconditional love.. treating them as the individual spirits that they are so that they can learn to live their lives independently and freely.... and I have pretty much done just that.... it's been very difficult at times.. (heck, most of the time), but LOVE is their anchor and they love purely....
I waited for them in the Customs area (after 2 hours of not knowing what was going on)... and I was actually upset because they hadn't turned their cellphones on and made me park the car to look for them... however, all those thoughts of "what jerks, I have been here since 5:30 am" suddenly disappear when G1 almost yelled upon seeing me, "Mama... asalaam aleikum" and then, G2 said, "Namaste beautiful Mama" ... instantly, my heart was full again.. instantly, my light was shining brightly... instantly, I cried ...... pretty amazing, huh?
They are "Pure" love ... they are my walking miracles... oh and G3, too... (have to mention him because he reads my blessings..lol) ... he is a constant light in all of our lives... but his is another story to tell... a much longer one....lol
Anyway, here I am.... I am a hunter.. I am a seeker... I am willing to try any new way if it will lead me from the old.. and I am a writer of blessings .. (maybe not every day, but as they come... and I have a feeling the words will come more often now) ... I am blessed... I am a blessing to others... and so it is....
May you all have "pure" love.... may your hearts be so full as to overflow always... may your lights shine brightly.... for you are loved beyond measure and are a cherished blessing to the world... May you be blessed with all things good...
I have missed me... I have missed you... I have missed US ....
With much love,
Elena
