Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Breakdowns

Hello from my heart to yours....
 
"Sometimes a breakdown can be the beginning of a kind of breakthrough, a way of living in advance through an ordeal that prepares you for a future of radical transformation."     Cherrie Moraga, Playright
 
 
Well... that's interesting... a breakdown... a societal taboo ... so, we tend to fight it... usually it happens because we hold back our emotions for such a long period of time that when they are finally bursting at the seams.. when they are flooding our bodies and consuming us, we stop functioning.... It usually takes us by surprise.. while we're driving to or from work or watching a movie or even looking at a beautiful full moon... our feelings just release themselves and we have little control over them... it doesn't matter what the catalyst was that drove us to a much needed catharsis... it's done and we usually feel better...
 
Most of what society dictates is that we shouldn't have these breakdowns... they're a sign of weakness.. boys especially are told not to cry at a very young age because it isn't manly... and when girls grow up surrounded by brothers, they aren't allowed to cry either.. so they become tough and cry in hiding so they don't get teased... it's such a taboo sometimes, that people do not even know how to react to someone who comes to them in the middle of a breakdown... it scares them...
 
More and more, I am beginning to realize that we may actually need little breakdowns every so often... it's important that we allow it to happen, rather than fight it or try to shut down... wherever we are when it happens, we need to let our feelings out... naturally, the ideal place would be in the arms of someone who loves us, but that's not always feasible and maybe, regardless of the love, the person doesn't know how to handle it either... I have found that the shower is the best place to cry... tears get lost in the water and when I'm done (usually when the hot water runs out), I come out refreshed... cleansed in so many ways...
 
Now..I am not saying that having breakdowns is wonderful... in the perfect world, we would make plans to process our emotions regularly so that we never have a breakdown.. talking about your feelings is the best way to avoid it... perhaps you can make a date to eat lunch weekly with your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend.. or a trusted friend .. maybe all you need is to keep a daily journal of what your feeling... or you can join a club or church ministry... I don't know.. not everything works for everybody.. it's a matter of making room in your life to tend to your emotions somehow... regularly..
 
Writing the blessings daily is what usually gets me through to the next moment... but since I haven't been writing, not the good nor the bad nor the indifferent feelings and emotions I have been having this summer, it might be an indication that I am on the verge of a breakdown...  yes, I'm not always the happy-go-lucky person people think I am... thankfully, summer is almost over and I am going away for 2 weeks to do absolutely nothing...  I need to re-energize.. re-group.. and do a lot of meditating and praying... I think my soul is craving it...  and I will return for the beginning of the school year... when this part of the world begins anew ... and you all know how I love "begin anew" blessings... for now though..let this be my prayer affirmation:
 
Infinite Spirit of God, I am blessed and I am a blessing. I release all my bottled up emotions to the heavens and put them in Your hands.  I have faith in You.  I have hope in You.  I love You.  There is no emotion that can consume me if I believe in You.  Let this be my truth always. Amen.
 
May you all find a way to release your emotions so that you can maintain a healthy balance in your minds and hearts.. and if you ever feel on the verge of a breakdown.. have it and be done with it.. because you are loved beyond measure and a cherished blessing to me...
 
May your afternoon be filled with all things good,
With Love,
Elena
 
Disclaimer:  This email address accepts "Venting" emails at anytime, but be advised that "Venting" emails will be deleted to ensure that emotions are released to God's hands immediately.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Show Up

Hello from my heart to yours....

"I've found that luck is quite predictable. If you want more luck, take more chances. Be more active. Show up more often."  Brian Tracy

I've never been a believer in "luck" really... The dictionary defines luck as 'believing that whatever happens, either good or bad, to a person in the course of events is due to chance, fate or fortune'... luck has nothing to do with anything operating for or against you, neither is it a matter of chance.. we make out own "luck" with being open to new experiences.. by "showing up" I think..... I've written about luck in the past because there is no religion.. not Catholicism, Judaism nor Buddhism.. that believe in luck.. if we believe in God, believing in luck only undermines God's role in our lives.... 

Anyway, so the quote isn't to focus on luck, it's to focus on "showing up" ... on Saturday night, I went out to meet a friend who is visiting from Texas.... we were simply going to dinner... when we arrived at the restaurant, it was transformed into the "Moulin Rouge".. I thought it was a private party and was worried that we had to go elsewhere, but fortunately, she had made reservations... she was expecting 10 people so we waited.. after 45 minutes, no one else showed and so we ordered... and during our fabulous meal, we enjoyed a show with Can-Can girls and girls with candelabra's on their heads, dancing on the bar... truly beautiful.... 


At dinner, she told my boyfriend and I that a friend had tickets for all of us to go to "The Donkey Show" ... and so.. that's what we did.. the four of us.... it was a spectacular event... while we were dancing, her friend came and put VIP bracelets on us... the husband turns to me and says, "that's what you get for "showing up" ... lol... of course, well into the night.. with each fabulous 70's song and dance that passed, I thought, "too bad our other friends didn't show up" ... and his words stuck with me all of yesterday and today... and I thought about all the many things in life we miss out on.. the many people we never get to meet.. the many opportunities we don't get because we fail to show up...


Don't misunderstand me... I'm not saying that we have to become like Elasti-Girl and show up to everything... we have to know what is important in our lives.. and who is important in our lives... I have a lot of out-of-town friends who come to visit and I do want to see them all, but sometimes it's impossible... I actually did miss a visit last week or so ago, which made me sad, but she'll be back and we will go on a "secret" breakfast.. lol... so, I'm looking forward to that.... anyway... "showing up" is similar to "being present" I guess... and maybe that's why I haven't been able to stop thinking about it...


Woody Allen said, "Eighty percent of success is showing up." .. well, there is more to it really.. and many people actually don't like his quote.. regardless, I read an article once about "showing up" ... it said that there are 4 basic ways to "show up"...  


(1) we "show up" to people.. we offer all of ourselves to people.. we give them our undivided attention.. it's the (when you walk into a room situation) where you say, "There you are!" .(instead of "Here I am")..it's offering help and maybe even stretching out of your comfort zone... it's "being present', if you will...
(2) we "show up" through people" ... this is the "I tell a friend, you tell a friend, and so on and so on..' ... for example, a Contractor I saw today said he had a mutual friend who had a violation and he asked if I could help him out.. well, I have him on the blessing list and so, of course I contacted him...it's networking one another... advertising for each other.. recommending people we know and trust... things like that...
(3) we "show up" for people when we go to something they are involved in to help give moral support maybe.. this is my favorite way of showing up... I have a great friend who is in a cover band... when he plays, he has (what he calls) his posse... yes, that's us... the group of supporters who "show up" for him... fun, fun, fun... this is, also, when you go to a church or temple event that another group is hosting to show that you recognize their efforts... for example, when the women's Emmaus ministry is having a retreat at our church, the Emmaus men come and set up the beds and rearrange furniture for them.. and vice-a-versa.. the women will decorate the rooms for the men's retreat...
(4) we "show up" for ourselves... as Shakespeare said, "This above all: To thine own self be true." ... This is the reason I like to work for myself I think.. I don't always take care of myself, but I do know what I need in my life to be able to function daily when I'm working... I know that I have to have certain days for certain building departments... I know that I have to have at least one "inspection" day a week so that I can be outside in the sun (or the rain)... I know I have to set aside a day of the week for a "brother" or a "friend" lunch.. (I know Wendy... I'm trying for Friday) .. and I know I need a "work-from-home" day... am I ever going to be a millionaire this way? probably not financially, but it's spiritually great for me... 


As usual, when I don't write as often, I go on and on and on...  sooooooo....  let me wrap this up by saying... "Show up" ... in one way or another try to "be present" in mind, body and soul for all of the blessed people in the world.... after all, God always "shows up" for us... the least we can do is "show up" for one another ... I think that in doing so, we are "showing up" for God right back.... 



....and with all of that said, I feel the need to apologize for not "showing up" for you all... for being absent in writing the blessings... for not being true to myself... writing these blessings has always helped me reflect on my own life and how I can better myself... I will try to do better... I will try to "show up" more often... if only just to remind you that you are all loved beyond measure and are cherished blessings to the world and me...


May you be blessed.  May others be blessed by you. This is my heartfelt wish to you.I love you,Elena